Film 101

Believe it or not this entire movie-review column concept came about as an alternative to the typical “coach column,” which has become a staple of CollegeInsider.com.

In the fall of 2000, CI’s editor-in-chief (Joe Dwyer) thought it might be a good idea to vary from the traditional team update. He noted that Morehead State’s Kyle Macy has ventured outside the lines when he penned a review of the Disney Movie, 101 Dalmatians. Since I had just recently seen “The Perfect Storm,” starring George Clooney, I thought I would try to put an entertaining spin on it.

In the weeks that followed that initial film critique, it dawned on me that movies are something that every coach in America can associate with, as we all take bus trips and the entertainment is of the videotape variety.

Thus, I figured I could suggest some titles for viewing. And from there, it just took on a life of its own.

In all honesty, I never expected that the reviews would be well received, but they are a nice distraction from the traditional column form. Given the choice of writing about the same things or venturing outside the box, most coaches would opt for the latter.

Having coached for nearly thirty years, I can tell you that it’s important to keep things in perspective and to have a little fun at times. Penning film reviews is a welcome distraction and a lot of fun.

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REEL MARCH MADNESS

>>> CLICK HERE to check out all of Coach Magarity's film review columns, including "The Women of Bond."

Imagine for a moment it's dawn on Saturday morning. You wake up at 6:36 a.m. to the ESPN crew breaking it down. You missed Digger's comments, but you catch Vitale's analysis

VITALE: It's unbelievable. I mean are you serious. Nobody can shoot. Is anyone going to survive? Rip up your brackets baby. Hey check Rece Davis. He looks pale.

The second round of the NCAA tournament will begin in a few hours and you are all fired up to take in the action.

At 6:37 a.m. you grab your morning coffee and head outside to grab the newspaper.

You stand in your front yard, perusing the paper for the recaps of the late-night games. Then you notice something curious. It's now 6:38 a.m. and your neighborhood seems to be buzzing with activity.

And as you try to understand why Greg, Marsha and the Brady Bunch just busted through Mr. Rogers front door, you see your Mr. Cleaver chasing Mrs. Cleaver, as she frantically drives away.

It's now 6:39 a.m. and you stand there wondering; did he want a ride? Was he pissed off that the Beaver is dating Bobby Brady or was he concerned that Mr. Rogers was being dismembered in his front yard?

As you ponder the possibilities, Mr. Cleaver sees you standing there in puzzlement and veers off his intended path and runs toward you. Does he want my newspaper? Is he looking for some sugar for his coffee or is he simply looking for a hand with something?

You quickly discover that Mr. Cleaver did in fact just want a hand. But standing in your front lawn has also cost you and arm and a leg.

At 6:40 a.m. you realize that it's not going to be another beautiful day in the neighborhood. And at 6:41 a.m. you begin to develop an indescribable appetite.

It's now 6:42 a.m. Six minutes ago you were looking forward to watching March Madness. Now you are part of an entirely new and more "reel" March Madness.

The tag line is, "When there is no room in hell, the dead will walk the earth." Well, that is not entirely correct. These dead run like hell.

It's a tremendous new twist and a coach's dream --- they never get tired, they are very hungry to win and they never stop running.

On Friday, March 19, 2004 "Dawn of the Dead" brought the dead back to life in cities and towns all across the country. Ving Rhames, Sarah Polley and Mekhi Phifer (Dr. Pratt, from ER) are among the few that survive the initial wrath of the recently deceased and take up residence in a local shopping mall.

For those who remember the original "Dawn of the Dead" (1979), the mall was the centerpiece for four survivors. But aside from the mall, the 2004 remake follows a totally different storyline.

As I watched the story unfold, I had some questions that I wanted answered.

- How did Big Tony and Paulie Wallnuts make out? Was the Bada-Bing overrun?

- Did the St. Joseph's Hawk take a bite out of Billy Packer?

- Did the King of Pop attack any adult-humans?

- Did Steve Lavin throw them off the scent with all that hair gel?

- Did Lavin survive because the zombies found Rick Majerus to be a more inviting meal?

- Was Paris, once again, taken without a single shot being fired?

DIGGER: I don't know how you defend this kind of attack?

VITALE: It's unbelievable baby. Where's Lavin? How about Bilas? Hey Chris Fowler, give me an update baby?

DIGGER: Dick, I don't think you can defend the perimeter. I think you have to do what you do best and basically that means collapse down low and defend the interior because you have to do what you do best and basically that's what you have to do to get it done.

VITALE: Digger, you can't sit back and wait. You have to go out and attack baby.

DIGGER: I still think you have to do what you do best and basically that means collapse down low and defend the interior because you have to do what you do best and basically that's what you have to do to get it done.

VITALE: The bottom line, when it's all said and done, Mike Krzyzewski and the Duke Blue Devils will still be standing. They're awesome baby.

Before the opening credits roll, we get a hint of the first zombie being examined at a hospital in the greater Milwaukee area. And within five-minutes of running time, the undead are everywhere.

The opening credits follow and we get a great overview of the severity of the crisis. A spokesman for the Centers for Disease Control has no answers. There is carnage everywhere and we see a military team overwhelmed and a reporter devoured live on CNN, from Istanbul, Turkey.

Now that is Reality TV.

It's impossible to continue at the current pace and the film does slow down at times, to give us a little insight into the characters. But those wandering the streets of Milwaukee never slow down.

Zombie-film fans will love the cameos of three key characters from the 1979 film.

If you look closely you might recognize the two S.W.A.T. team members from the original. Ken Foree (who played Peter) has a cameo as an evangelist who prophesizes, "When there is no room in hell, the dead will walk the earth.

His former S.W.A.T. team member, Scott Reiniger (who played Roger) has a bit part as a military commander trying to access the situation for a television reporter.

And make-up magic man Tom Savini (who played the motorcycle gang leader) is terrific as a local sheriff who interrupts a reporter's question to state, "You have shoot them in the head."

What a terrific scene.

But one of the most outstanding sequences in the film finds the group of survivors on the roof of the mall. They correspond with Andy who is isolated across the street on the roof of his gun shop. With binoculars and hand-held signs, Vingh Rhames communicates with Andy in a game of celebrity look-a-likes.

He holds up a sign that reads, "Jay Leno." Then Andy looks through his scope and decapitates the Leno look-a-like. Next up is Burt Reynolds, followed by Rosie O'Donnell.

All of us -- at one time or another -- have engaged in a friendly game of famous people, which makes this sequence very entertaining.

VITALE: Did you see that shot? I mean are you kidding me. Wow, that's unbelievable range. Gerry McNamara can shoot from anywhere baby.

DIGGER: Dick, I'm not sure about that shot selection. I still think you have to do what you do best and basically that means collapse down low and defend the interior because you have to do what you do best and basically that's what you have to do to get it done.

While comical like the original, one noticeable difference is the lack of social issues, which Romero cleverly worked into his screenplay. In the ground-breaking original, Romero's satire of brain-dead consumers aimlessly wandering through the mall -- like zombies -- is very well done.

But like all of Romero's three films ("Night of the Living Dead," "Dawn of the Dead" and "Day of the Dead") we are kept in the dark as to the origin of the plague, which makes the dead not dead for long.

Not knowing adds to the intrigue.

But while the trilogy, tells us that there are thousands of zombies, we never actually get a feel that there are more than a few hundred. The new film, which Romero had nothing to do with, gives you the impression that the world has in fact been overrun.

And because these dead can run, you can buy into the fact that the infection can spread so quickly.

In the past, you could walk right past the flesh-craving walking cadavers. That fact had every movie-goer convinced that they could easily survive. Audiences would get tense when a character would fall -- as Zombies closed in -- but you knew they would be able to scamper away.

But in the new film, directed by Zach Snyder, that old vehicle of the car not starting or the woman tripping as the monster approaches is completely out the window.

Now if you fall, you become a happy meal. Period!

The film's conclusion, which is interlaced through the closing credits, leaves you wondering what actually happened to the remaining survivors.

Dawn of the Dead 2 is already in the works, with director Zach Snyder and screenwriter James Gunn looking to follow up on their 2004 hit. And Romero's fourth and final zombie film will be released in October of 2005.

"Land of the Dead" finds that zombies having taken over the world and those left alive are confined to a walled-in city that keeps out the corpse corps. Anarchy rules the streets, with the wealthy insulated and living in fortified skyscrapers. The drama revolves around a group of scavengers who must thwart an attempt to overthrow the city while the dead are evolving from brainless slow-moving creatures into more advanced creatures.

Dennis Hopper and John Leguizamo star in this film.

As for the 2004 version of "Dawn of the Dead," nothing can compare to the 1979 classic and no future zombie-film will ever provide the shock value of the 1968 original, which started it all. But the 2004 remake is still tremendous.

Rent it or buy it and remember they aren't dead -- They're deadish.

VITALE: They're everywhere baby!

DIGGER: I still think you have to do what you do best and basically that means collapse down low and defend the interior because you have to do what you do best and basically that's what you have to do to get it done.

VITALE: Where's Magarity? Is Mr. Portly and Stout okay?

DIGGER: Dick, I don't know, but I'm not happy that he has taken me apart in this segment.

VITALE: Digger, Magarity has a lot of love for both of us. He kept us alive. That's awesome baby!
 

>>> CLICK HERE to check out all of Coach Magarity's film review columns, including "The Women of Bond."